Blushing Bride Groom: Located!

FInally! Our groom has come on the radar.... in London!

Apparently there were numerous twitters overnight about OB enjoying himself at Kings of Leon concert. What a shame he didn't bring his fianceee along too in her bride pants - I hear shes rather fond of some of the KoL band members, there would have been an opportunity to palm her off on one of them....

Moving back to the story of the hour: The forthcoming Mantis nuptials - the internet is rife with rumours that our panty mantis is about to drop mini mantis'. It could explain the speed of it all - she is acting as if the hounds of hell are nipping at her heels...

The cynical side of me is still appreciating the PR angle on the latest news... I guess time will tell..

One thing for sure - if she does have one in the oven, thats going to make a cracking chapter in "treashur urself"!

I wonder if a combined Hen party / baby shower with Kora products would work????

Oh, and the picture is just because .... :D

Gale force

Megan Gale launched her new keenie collaboration with David Jones yesterday at a Vaucluse harbour side party. The new brand Isola (island in Italian) may appear as a direct attack on the Jennifer Hawkins/Myer brand Cozi, though Gale does deny any such rivalry. While Cozi is aimed at the young and teeny weenie, Gale wants to fill a hole in the market for ladies in their 30's and 40's of all shapes and sizes. The pretty collection is filled with dainty florals, tie-dies and clever geometry. Silk caftans and maxi dresses also included for the evening cover up.

Gale, a force to be reckoned with.

Jac's Story

Monika Jagaciak spends a day of teenage exploration amid the California sun and wind for the June issue of Interview. Photographed by Craig McDean and styled by Karl Templer, Jac dons bikinis from Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, Balenciaga and more in Jac’s Story.

The Blushing Bridegroom..

Our blushing bridegroom seems to be keeping an extremely low profile at the moment, its almost like he's embarrassed and whats the whole sorry mess to go away. Personally I couldn't agree with him more...

Just a reference point, the above picture is what Orlando looks like when he's ecstatic....

In this Video he is trying to ignore questions about his forthcoming nuptials at an airport, obviously after such a happy event he must be ecstatic this video too... it must just be a very very very different kind of ecstatic!

The Panty Mantis on the other hand has decided to start communicating with the world via her ass.

First we had her with her bride pants on... now she's decided to tell us what is actually important for her about her engagement:



Its a shame she didn't think to publicise this to Orlando when the photos were actually taken, it might of put him off..

Finally! Ted C has his say...

Given Ted C's recent involvement with our PR friendly couple, it seemed odd that he should keep silent on the happy news, Finally Ted has had an item about our love birds

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Orlando Bloom's engagement?
—Meg

Dear Shoulda Put a Ring on It:
I think it, and his decision to drop out of Pirates 4, is very Orlando Bloom.


Typical Ted Cryptic!! I wonder if he's trying to infer he's made a mistake!!

We interrupt this transmission....

.......to bring you something unengagement related (Hoorah, I hear you cry!!)

The full Katz lecture is up here

I've only done the first four sections or so, but I'm glad they've posted this, its interesting to hear Orlando talking about his learning disability and he comes across as sincere and open!

Good job Orlando!

low luv giveaway

My friends at DesignerApparel.com were kind enough to set up an insanely cool giveaway for Chic Heroin readers, allowing one of you to win the Cross Necklace by Erin Wasson's brand LowLuv! To enter, all you have to do is comment with your name and email address, and tell me one summer fashion trend that you love. Also, since those without Google accounts can't enter via commenting, feel free to send me an email to enter as well! Sorry to my lovely International readers, but the giveaway has been restricted to readers in Canada and the USA.

The contest will be open until Thursday, July 1st (Canada Day!) and the winner will be drawn randomly and contacted on Friday.

DesignerApparel.com is a great shopping search engine that carries hundreds of brands from Prada to Armani to Burberry, and, of course LowLuv! Check it out, and BIG hugs and thank you's to the lovelies at DesignerApparel.com for letting me give away such a fantastic piece.

xo E

A practical Guide to Weddings: Part 4 - the Hen Do

To be honest, I didn't think there would be much of a rush on this one, but with Panty mantis and mommy mantis unsubtly looking for churches and flashing jewellery I have a feeling this is more high priority than I thought.

I've been thinking long and hard about what options I can offer the Panty Mantis for her hen do. As luck would have it, just as our happy couple made their announcement, Viktoria Sekrits unveiled their new batchelorette range - and guess who was modelling a pair of "bride" pants looking at a ring.... what a coincidence! The timing of this is uncanny! But it does solve our problem of what the Panty Mantis to be should be wearing for her Hen do!


Everything else about the Hen do is a bit harder to suggest. I'm afraid I havent come up with a list of suggestions like I did with Orlando, but I do have one recommendation!

She could have a Whora party! No, trust me - it works on many levels....

1) She can pimp her over priced face care range to everyone she's invited
2) If she can treashure Urself out in times, she can give signed copies to everyone there as party favours
3) She can offer her guests copious goji berries uninterrupted
4) She can drink lots of Rioja without breaking her "girl next door" image
5) She can table dance the night away without embarassing pictures being posted on twitter
6) Of course given this probably wouldnt be in a public bar, she would need to make sure her photog friends were there to comment on how stunning and genetically blessed she is..


Wanda - given I'm lining you up to be a bridesmaid, and they tend to organise the hen do - is the above ok with you? Short of going out clubbing nekkid, I can't think of anything else she'd enjoy more than flogging her shit and being the centre of attention!

And this just in...

Orlando Bloom, vainly hoping that he runs fast enough, gets on a flight to the furthest corner of the planet and keeps growing his hair - his bride to be won't be able to track him down again...

Things sure move quickly when you are young and in 'Love'

I have to hand to the Panty Mantis, she sure is moving swiftly down the path to nuptial bliss. Her Mum and her had their privacy invaded yesterday whilst looking at churches, worse still, the paps managed to get a shot of her engagement ring.

Poor girl, she obviously decided to get in their quickly, while everyone was thinking "there would be no way she'd be looking at churches on day three" and hoping to be discrete and her plans were foiled..

One thing is confusing me though, I'm sure I've heard her and Orlando talking about the strong buddhist faith - now I don't know much about buddhism but I wouldn't of thought a normal buddhist ceremony would be held in a christian church? I obviously have that wrong...

Still no sign of Orlando, maybe he's fainted with shock after having to buy the most expensive ring from Argos catalogue...

On a different tack, I've finally managed to come up with a limerick to mark this auspicious occasion:

There once was a lady whose womb
Gave birth to young chap called Bloom
But alack and alas
He engaged the wrong lass
And in so doing sealed his Doom

:D

VIP

Preview! Seafolly 2010 with gap toothed beauty Jessica Hart

Practical Guide to Weddings: Part 3 - the Stag Do

Having STILL not heard back from the Panty Mantis on her dates for her wedding and in the wake of overwhelming excitement from the Bloom camp on the news (his mother reportedly said she's a beautiful girl inside and out (to be expected, hopefully it keeps the Panty Mantis in the dark as to Sonia's true intentions until such time as she's managed to extract her son back out of the jaws of death) and also felt the need to point out that hardly see each other - Bravo Sonia, Good work!), I thought we could be nice to Orlando and propose a few venues for his stag do:

Amsterdam:
Typical haunt for the architypal stag do - its got a banging red light district so I hear, and a very hot club scene, plus of course he could probably get his own private sex show set up, packed with busty blondes to take his mind of things..

South Africa:
He'd have to be quick with this one, and he's unlikely to see England play but I hear that the local err hospitality industry has been preparing for years for the influx of football fans, so there would probably be plenty of entertainment to choose from (word to the wise Orlando: The article I read on the subject concentrated on the epidemic of STD's and Aids so he'd better get swimsuited up if he fancies this option

LA/ London
A bit boring as choices really, though the latter would be better than the former, In LA he'd be far too easily caught out and we wouldn't want a histrionic mantis bride would we?

Brighton
Depending on your view point on OB's sexuality this could be THE venue for him, plenty of fun to be had in Brighton if you like beautiful boys!

Ibiza
This is the one I'd choose if I were him. Lots of ladies that are up for craick, lots of clubbing and disco biscuits (not that he does these of course but just in case some of the other stags do) and great beaches for chillaxing - plus he probably knows someone with a yacht down there so it would be cheap - perfect!

Orlando Bloom: The Choice is YOURS!
(oh and I wouldn't invite JJ if I were you - it could end up with paps there, and I KNOW you wouldn't want that!)

Practical Guide to Weddings: Part 2 - The Venue

Now we've got the basics out of the way (still no word on the engagement party or the date of the wedding BTW Panty Mantis, details of the former would be nice and the latter is essential if you want me to book in some fatties!l)

Our Happy couple should start to consider the venue... Happily it seems that the Panty Mantis' local town of Gunnedah has beaten her to it - offering her her local home town for the venue! Wouldn't that be nice for them, Lucky Orlando!

The Mayor graciously made the offer here

"Gunnedah Mayor has offered a street parade in the couple's honour with its award-winning brass band leading the way."

Perhaps a rendition of Cole Porters "Love for Sale" could start things off?

Gunnedah's leading wedding outfitter also seems keen to be involved! she says:

""I imagine she would go the kit and caboodle but each bride is different,"

Too right this Bride is different Jodi, and when you say Kit and Caboodle I think you may mean no kit and her bootie..... The Panty Mantis is known better these days for taking her kit off as opposed to being photographed with it on...... still I imagine an original Ho would fit the bill nicely!

However, I do think the budget that they are suggesting is slightly under.. perhaps it would help our stunning couple if I went through it for them:


1) Reception venues Gunnedah town hall costs $600 to hire and holds 600 people - of course they are missing out the attendance fees of 595 of the guests.... i think we better add on another $300,000 to the bill - so thats $300,6000


2) Wedding cakes Cost between $300 and $1000 - lets go with the $1000 shall we, I wonder if they do themes?

3) Photographer Packages start at $700 - I would actually scrub this fee, I imagine Terry Richardson could be persuaded to come down if the bride was suitably undressed! And he certainly likes photographing Orlando


4) Food Gunnedah bowlo is about $30 a head including entrees of soup, avocado prawn salad; mains of roast beef, chicken and lamb; and desserts of pavlova, apple crumble and cheesecake - well that all sounds nice, trouble is no noni and goji berries... but if the guests only have that, I imagine the cost will be about the same..


5) Celebrant $400, plus $44 for marriage certificate - lets leave that one in for the time being (though Orlando, if you get one of your actor mates to play the role - it will be free, you won't actually be married, she'll be none the wiser...)

So in total thats a cool $320,000 for the day itself- sounds like a right bargain compared to the bill OB is likely to face....

By the way: I'm sure Gunnedah is very nice, I wouldn't know - i haven't been there. I also understand its wish to host the wedding of these two clowns... the above is in no way reflective of Gunnedah, just certain gunnedah Mantis' and their handbags....

"one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower." -Hans Christian Anderson

As I type this post, the grey, rainy day has me wishing for the warm sun in these photos. The past few weeks have been full of nightmares and to-do lists, with intermittent rays of sunshine. With the G20 conference in Toronto this weekend, I'll be staying far, far away from my apartment downtown and (fingers crossed) sitting in the sunshine drinking lemonade in the riot-free suburbs.
As soon as I laid eyes on this Topshop romper, I knew it was mean to be mine, and since recently Topshop started shipping to Canada, I had it sitting in my closet a week later. Now, the wait time is even shorter, as Topshop has officially arrived at Toronto's Jonathan and Olivia boutique (49 Ossington Ave.). I haven't visited since the expansion, but I'd love to hear from any of you who have.

** A note on nail Minxing: I've gotten a lot of questions via email and formspring about my silver nails. Minxing is actually a sticker that is cut to fit your nail shape and then heated on to your nails, it's not a nail polish. Altogether, it cost about $50ish at Toronto's Heartbreaker Salon (889 Dundas St. W), which is, as far as I know, the only place that does Minxing (though Sephora now carries a kind of DIY Minx here.) It lasted about a week before the ends started to look worn. It looks great and was a ton of fun to have, but just as a warning, the ends are pretty rough and catch on fabrics, which is aggravating and, also, when I eventually did peel them off, my nails were pretty dead and unhappy looking, and it's taken me 2 weeks to get them back in shape. I'd get it done again, but not for a while. **

xo E

Absolutely priceless

Jealousy's a curse

Congratulations Miss Kerr

No Shit Sherlock!

from Contact Music:

"A representative for Kerr tells People.com, "The entire Kerr family is thrilled with the news. It is a very exciting time for both of them.""

No????

Really???

Hang on, let me just pick myself back up off the floor.....

.....I'm positively overcome with amazement at this latest revelation, I'm sure No-one would of guessed that reaction from the Kerrs

I shall wait with eager expectation to see what the reaction is from Family Bloom....

A Practical Guide to Weddings: Part 1

With confirmation (in the form of the Panty Mantis' facebook) being posted overnight, I woke up this morning buzzing with lists of things the happy couple need to do before the big day.

I thought it might help them if I listed a few here to make sure the future Mr and Mrs Panty Mantis don't miss anything and hopefully avoid the Panty Mantis turning into bridezilla, I may not understand some of OB's choices, but I wouldn't wish that on him.

1) The most crucial thing on the agenda now has got to be the engagement party! I would suggest they pick that bondage club that OB was caught leaving a while back. The Panty Mantis will fit right in there and Orlando is unlikely to try and leave early because of the view. Of course it will be important to make sure that the appropriate Bloggers/papers are there to witness the event.

2) Obviously the Panty Mantis needs to make as big a splash as humanly possible in australia now she actually has something he's not denying... perhaps a few big screens up in public places looping the happy news?

3) The Dress: Its never to early in my experience to source your dress - perhaps one by Lisa Ho would be fitting?

4) The Bridesmaids: A word to the wise Panty Mantis, I wouldnt ask any of your fellow models if I were you, there is a danger that your usual poses might be outshone, instead you should be picking some fatties for the occasion, make sure you look really good (if you send me the date, I can check amoungst us fat'n'jellus ones to see if any of us are free if you like, though you may need to put a security guard round Orlando, I think most of us just want him for ourselves and will need to be controlled!)

I think thats enough to be going on with, I don't want to overload you both - lawd knows wedding preparation is a stressful time for all concerned!

Whats in your pocket?

Ask and ye shall receive!

How fitting that this is my 100 post on TSO and its the one that... according to here announces that Orlando is shortly to become Mr Panty Mantis, how lovely - may I offer my sincere congratulations to the happy couple... (for the 156th time)

I do have a few concerns though...

The wedding list: I trust that the etruscan vase is still listed, i feel that a fitting gift for our fianceed duo

The exclusive on the engagement: I take it that Mr Big / JJ weren't invited to witness round 2 of the "caught" photos of the marriage proposal?? Thats a shame.... I rather enjoyed round one in paris..

The Draft plan of action for visits home: Its lucky, is it not, that shortly after another disaster with DJ's and their sleazy head honcho, just before our Panty Mantis heads home that we get another engagement story. Now admittedly this one is more "official" sounding, but I'm sure that everyone involved realised that they couldn't do yet another coy hint without being ripped to shreds. After that last one it was fairly clear to anyone paying attention that the world and HIS wife had had enough of the hinting and playing with rings...

The ring shopping: Sadly we seem to have missed out altogether on the shopping for rings rumours, that IS a shame - when OB was getting engaged to Kate there were always a few rumours out there of him in jewellery shops across the globe, I almost feel cheated!

Still, at least we can look forward to the second by second account of the preparations, the blissful happiness, the inevitable problems and subsequent break up (no, I'm not being negative and cynical, most hollywood couplings end in tears)...

All in all I'll have lots to post about.....
(though I wonder how many readers I'll have left after this stunt Orlando ....)

Bored, bored, BORED....

unless of course you call the Panty Mantis' latest witterings about her healthy and glamarus lyfe interesting.....

No?

Don't worry, I couldn't muster enough interest to be bytchy either, its not like we haven't heard it all before 10 million times..

I couldn't even manage to get the inclination to dissect her latest VS publicity stunt, even though she was looking as daft as ever and as unpopular as ever with her fellow VS models....

so, to pass the time - Pretty Orlando...... again - Something I seem to be very resilient at not being bored with :D

Is that a bit hot?

Orlando is back in LA and was pictured yesterday having lunch with some of his mates, it looks as if whatever it was that he was chowing down on it had chili sauce on it from the above! -

Anyway - sounds like OB is following the good old english preparation to watch a football match:
i.e: Get your mates together and eat the kind of food that is going to make you blow when combined with Beer, so you can all cheerfully sit there breaking wind together in support of England!

The only thing confusing me is he's sitting there with a pelegrino water... considering both the USA and England were playing yesterday - any proper bloke worth his salt would of had made himself comfy with a couple of beers to warm things up, but I guess OB is in LA, and thats not what you do in LA !

The Panty Mantis happily isn't in LA (So OB got that bit right - send your guurlfriend as far away as possible before the world cup to minimise interruptions!). But her long awaited arrival in Australian vogue is here - I'll leave Joders to cover that one - but suffice to say its not the cover and ten page spread we were all eagerly anticipating.....

Sex Pitstols

A daring piece with a title to match.

Sex Pistols from Kymare.

Banjo

Long haired local lad Banjo pops out some pretty nice images.

Muddy