Where IS Orlando?
His "wife" (and believe me when i say I'm using that in the loosest sense of the word - i know fat, jellus, orlando all for myself etc etc) seems to be maintaining a public profile; his "wife" seems to be perfectly happy to engage with more recent developments in online communication and networking; his "wife" is happy to offer cloying words of wisdom to any misfortunate that happens within a 5 mile radius of her facebook page, drowning them with second hand advice, quotes and photos of her family.
In short his "wife" is more than happy to keep the rest of the english speaking world up to date with the minutiae of her personal life.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if we get the following status update:
Panty Mantis is happye thayt orlandoe is bounde and gagged, he complayns less aboute seksy tyme lyke thayt
Poor sod..... put like that his complete and utter silence since their wedding is put into perspective. we shouldnt be giving the Elf a hard time for "marrying" such a complete and utter dingbat, we should be raising money to secure his release....
In fact I was looking for a charity to raise money for by participating in the forthcoming duathlon, I think i may have found it!
I just need someone to design me a FREE ORLANDO t-shirt to run/cycle in!
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