Pleasure Ureself: A Practical Guide to being Fat and Jellus

I decided late last night I might be missing a trick! If the mantis can have a guide that is designed to advise people on how to treshure themselves, give lots of 'advice' on how to be like her and have a spin off product line, facebook and blog so can I!

May I proudly introduce...

Pleasure Ureself: A practical guide to being fat and jellus.

Now admittedly I havent got much further than this yet - but don't worry I will!
Its going to be full of advice on how to get fat (if you arent already), work on that jellusy and how to really hone you skills of wanting Orlando all to yourself. I too am going to get the advice of experts in the field (psst Joders..... Wanda... you game?) ready to offer snippets of advice to help your lives be even worse than they already are. I also thought a few (referenced) quotes would be in order. Seeing as I got cruelly cut short with my practical guide to weddings, I think this is a worthy replacement. I'll start with this quote I think....

"[T]he ear of jealousy heareth all things." ~The Bible (Apocrypha), Wisdom of Solomon 1:10

Speaking of which, I hear there is a pending storm breaking over nude photos of the Panty Mantis...... Oh the horror and surprise! If you believe the version being pimped around at the moment, some dastardly photographer has managed to get hold of 8 year old photos of the Mantis with her tatters out and is threatening to publicise them against her will.... we've even had an erudite statement from the Mantis Oz Publicist on the subject saying how the publishing party in question is quickly going to make enemys with that kind of behaviour..... I'm sure he's quaking in his boots, particularly given that it seems the photos are considerably old and already well and truly in the public domain.....

And this is coming from the girl that has only made Holy Moly for one reason and one reason only - their surprise at her doing a photoshoot in more than a koala and some chains..

Poor Orlando - I seem to be neglecting him recently..... but there isnt much to report ...... I'll do a pretty for you all later just to remind us who this blog should actually be about (OB: thats a hint - do something other than mantis support, I'm starting to bore myself!)